I think I’m really late to this, because they haven’t posted new material in awhile, but it is nonetheless too awesome and nerdy not to make its way into MC:

-Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause thou lookst “fyne.”

-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.

-Ich do deuote myn diligence to studye of the anatomie of engendrure. Ich haue happed vpon an abstruse passage in the werke of Constantyne the Affrikan De Coitu, the which I kan nat construe. For lernynges sake and the goode of wisdom, woldstow performe the acte of venus withe me so that ich may interpret thys clause in propre wise?

-Ich loved thy papere, but yt wolde looke much better yscattred across the floore of myn rentede dorme roome at dawne.

-Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on.

-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?

There’s so much more. Happy Monday! I’ve got the day off and I’m doin’ this with it. Long is the road, and hard, which leads through darkness up to laundry.

Brad Listi is the a creative writing professor at Santa Monica College and the author of ATTENTION.DEFICIT.DISORDER. The myspace blog created for fans of the book, The A.D.D. Blog, has a number of devoted followers and has been called one of the best blogs on the Internet.

A few months ago I interviewed Brad via e-mail about his book, the state of American letters, and the best way for writers to avoid awkward questions at cocktail parties.
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Reader’s Strike

January 31, 2008

I’m reading Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 again. Over the summer, I read Heller’s Good As Gold— well, most of it. About 20 pages from the end I stopped. I realized I didn’t care. It just wasn’t that great of a book. I had been pulled on by bits of Heller’s signature wit and wordplay and the notion that I couldn’t make a full assessment of the book until I finished it. But Heller didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. You enter a contract when you open a book: the author will entertain you, and you will entertain him. The author entertains you with prose. You entertain his ideas, his concepts, his innermost yearnings, etc. Good As Gold displays Heller’s skill, but its value, for me, stopped there. I realized that I didn’t really care what happened after the page I was on. The book had breached our contract. And so I struck back with the most devastating weapon a reader wields: my indifference. I stopped reading.

Halfway through Catch-22 again, I remember why Heller is a known author, but I also remember why he is known as the author of Catch-22.

What books/authors have failed you? Side Question: What books have you read and appreciated as art but put down with the knowledge that you would probably never pick them up again?