Sid Cases The Place

November 7, 2013

Here’s another booking request e-mail (seriously) from the former manager of the former the Fucking Hotlights from Buffalo, NY (see previous post for the back story). Notes: 1) Lasagna may or may not be a real person’s nickname, or at least a close approximation. 2) This was sent to another band the Hotlights were supposed to play with. 3a) This e-mail was 100% unnecessary (the show was already booked and the two bands talked on a regular basis) and 3b) this was written prior to the viralization of the epic Foo Fighters tour riders – and likely without any knowledge of who the Foo Fighters even are.

I was told to write to somebody named Lasagna. Nope.




My name is Sid Selleck. I move talent. I am currently working with a band called the Fucking Hot Lights from Buffalo, NY, and I’m told you liked their set and that you made plans to set up a show for 4/20. The boys aren’t supposed to make decisions; that’s what they pay me for. But considering the circumstances, it doesn’t seem like they did too much harm, so let’s get to work.


Let me remind you that I do not make claims or requests of my own, and that I only represent the wishes of my clients, the Fucking Hot Lights.


A few quick notes about compensation. I generally work in Euros or hundred dollar bill amounts, so if in passing I mention a sum that sounds wrong to you, it’s just that I’m working on a different speed, so let me know if something seems off and I’ll set it straight. Also, all payments come up front. Sid Selleck delivers, the Fucking Hot Lights deliver, and we don’t wait on door-counts to get what we’re worth. Dig it or I take my business across the street. 


There are going to be a number of issues related to set up and accommodations at the show, so why don’t I start by asking you a few questions before we get down to the particulars.


Broken down a bit, but in no order:



1) How many other bands are you planning to put on the bill?

2) How far are they willing to go? (I think you know what I mean. Not so much the Lasagna kid, but one of you should know what I mean or this will probably be a short relationship.)

3) What time do doors open? 

4) Are there any sound ordinances in Rochester? If so, how strictly are they enforced?

5) How long do you personally want to play? We’re open to suggestions. 

6) Have you ever heard of a band called NKB? I’m hearing good things in central NY these days from these guys and I was just wondering if you’ve heard about it at all. Thoughts?



1) What’s the name of the location?

2) What kind of neighborhood are we talking here? Is there a gang presence? (There is no “wrong” answer to this question.)

3) Does the venue serve alcohol? If not, is alcohol permitted on the premises? If not, why not?

4) How large is the building? How many floors? How many rooms on the main floor? How many exits? 

5) What is the square footage of the main concert space? What is the listed capacity?

6) Are there storm drains in the floor of the main space? If so, how many?

7) Are there televisions in the main room? Can they be removed easily?

8) What are the audio-visual capabilities (i.e. projection screens, strobe lights, smoke machines, dvd players, free-standing computer consoles, cash registers, disco balls, dvd players, SmartBoards, etc.)?

9) Are minors allowed on (or within 1000 feet of) the premises?



1) How do you feel about me bringing my own?

2) How many bouncers, bartenders, and site staff are we talking all-told? What will their locations be before, during, and after the show? (Come to think of it, a lot of this could get sorted out by you just drawing a few detailed maps or schematics of the location with small dots or something representing people, refreshments, dvd players, security, merch tables, safes, fire exits, secondary audience areas (VIP rooms, couches, etc.), patio limits, etc, etc, etc.)



1) What are the 3 closest 3+ star hotels? 

2) Of these, which has brunch?

3) Are there meal-bed packages we can take advantage of? 

4) What time do bars close?

5) What time do liquor stores close?

6) Where are the all night pharmacies?

7) Where are the all night “pharmacies”?



1) Do you have a lawyer?



Pleasure to be working with you. Get back to me when you get solid answers; don’t rush anything. Don’t worry about what time it is, I have the rest of my life staring at this fucking thing. 


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